How could anyone know what it means to promise life-long monogamous fidelity? … the question is not whether you know what you are promising; rather, the question is whether you are the kind of person who can be held to a promise you made when you did not know what you were promising.” Stanley Hauerwas
Truly, we were just kids, taking our lives in our hands and offering it to the other. So utterly unaware of what lay ahead, of who we would become and fail to become, so oblivious to what it was we were promising (and thank God for such blissful ignorance!). But for 29 years – today – my beloved wife has been the kind of person who can be held to a promise.
To celebrate the goodness of this graced and lovely woman and this anniversary, these photos of the ravishing glass work of Dale Chihuly (which we took in today), a poem from Wendell Berry, and a very fine and silly song from Peter Gabriel.
Our bond is no little economy based on the exchange
of my love and work for yours, so much for so much
of an expendable fund. We don’t know what its limits are–
that puts us in the dark. We are more together
than we know, how else could we keep on discovering
we are more together than we thought?
You are the known way leading always to the unknown,
and you are the known place to which the unknown is always
leading me back. More blessed in you than I know,
I possess nothing worthy to give you, nothing
not belittled by my saying that I possess it.
Even an hour of love is a moral predicament, a blessing
a man may be hard up to be worthy of. He can only
accept it, as a plant accepts from all the bounty of the light
enough to live, and then accepts the dark,
passing unencumbered back to the earth, as I
have fallen time and again from the great strength
of my desire, helpless, into your arms.
Wendell Berry, The Country of Marriage
And Peter Gabriel’s The Book of Love. Grab someone you love and share a dance with us tonight.
There aren’t adequate modifiers to describe the horror of the trigger-happy violence – by police and against police – in the U.S. In every way, on every side, this has been a day so despicably devoid of light.
And while we rightly feel both outrage and despair, remember, there is another way. Things can be different.
Let me highly recommend you take 40 minutes and watch the video below of Kevin Vickers. He was a career police officer and the Canadian parliamentary Sergeant-at-Arms who fatally shot the Parliament Hill killer. This speech will give you the needed hope to face the news of today.
I attended the Faith at 150 event where Vickers spoke and was mesmerized by his simple, homey ways that masked an approach to policing so at odds with what we’ve been witnessing – something so ordinary yet filled with extraordinary and uncommon grace.
Here is a quick sampling of highlights (with video times if you need to skip through):
On interrogating suspects: “Every time I would enter an interrogation room, I would say to myself: “Regardless of how repulsive the crime, I will always respect the dignity of the person.” (13:18)
On hospitality as a policing tool: during a native stand-off in the Burnt Church crisis, Vickers extends a simple act of hospitality, having two of his officers bring jugs of coffee and donuts to those across the line. (16:40)
On the last tool of policing: “there are many tools in the toolbox for a police officer. But the last tool you ever want to use is the tool of enforcement. There are many tools – facilitation, respect, education, communication, dialogue … the tool of enforcement is the tool of last resort.” (18:30)
On prayer and policing: with a violent confrontation brewing, Vickers meets with the warriors and calls them to prayer in his police car. (19:50)
On forgiveness: about the incident for which he is now a public figure, the shooting of the Parliament Hill killer, Vickers says: “I’m not proud of my actions on Oct. 22 … but I’ll tell something that I am proud of … it is probably one of the proudest moments of my life that I said a prayer and asked for forgiveness for the man I shot.” (34:00)
Please don’t take this as a smug Canadian preening the virtuous example of a superior policing culture. Not so, because Vickers himself also names ugly realities among his own colleagues (14:58 and 24:05). The same dynamics at play south of the border cross the border of every heart.
Instead, receive this as the hope of the gospel at work, often unseen amidst the explosions of alienation and violence, the hope that things can be different, the hope that the tools of policing can be donuts and prayers – a lovely contemporary riff on the prophetic dream of Isaiah 2:4.
It’s International Women’s Day. I’m going to keep quiet. She has a voice.
Listen to her.
Listen to her preach – Brenda Salter McNeill
Listen to her speak counter-cultural truth on suffering – Joni Eareckson Tada
Listen to her explore and explain science and faith – Deborah Haarsma
Listen to her slam – Amena Brown
Listen to her lead out on climate change – Katharine Hayhoe
Listen to her reflect on being a mom – Amy Julia Becker
Listen to her calling us to live justly – Nikki Toyama-Szeto
Listen to her talk the arts – Luci Shaw
Listen to her teach – Ruth Padilla Deborst
Listen to her address sexuality – Sarah Williams
Listen to her follow Jesus and challenge the reigning culture – Anne Zaki
Listen to her riff on God’s mission – Karen Wilk
Listen to her point to what few want to talk about – Frederica Matthews Green
Listen to her speak about faith and work – Katherine Leary Alsdorf
Just listen to her.
Photo credit: UNMIT/Martine Perret
It’s been a dark year, wouldn’t you say, what some have called the year of fear – disease, wars, refugees, all too much ugliness, violence, and generally un-evolved humanity.
Into that story of darkness and fear, the world as we often experience it, comes God-with-us: the Christmas story in all its wildness and weirdness (yes, I love the bath-robed shepherds and rosy-cheeked angels but the nativity story is decidely not cute. See this good piece on innocuous pageants and a call for a renewal of the arts to help us reclaim Christmas).
I often need help to scrape away the froth and cliche, bringing me back to the wild heart of Christmas. Poet Denise Levertov captures the right posture of realism and wild hope.
On the mystery of the Incarnation
It’s when we face for a moment
the worst our kind can do, and shudder to know
the taint in our own selves, that awe
cracks the mind’s shell and enters the heart:
not to a flower, not to a dolphin,
to no innocent form
but to this creature vainly sure
it and no other is god-like, God
(out of compassion for our ugly
failure to evolve) entrusts,
as guest, as brother,
Joyful Mystery (by Jim Janknegt)
Creadora de Luz (by Lalo Garcia)
Emmanuel: God With Us (by Laura Kestly)
Frank Constanza was a minor prophet of sorts. He anticipated the popular new custom to ring in the Christmas season. It’s the now traditional “airing of the grievances” over all the competing and corrupting agendas that have “taken over” Christmas (think faux-outrage Starbucks red cup guy).
Maybe there are some explanations for this new tradition – the season and its story have been shaped by a variety of different narratives, not all of them helpful. In some cases the Christmas story has been distorted (e.g. by the consumer knock-off narrative), but not all of what has happened to the season is bad. In our pluralistic society, during this public holiday season, isn’t making space for the stories and celebrations of other faiths a good thing?
Here is a critical learning for followers of the one we celebrate at Christmas – we don’t need to diminish someone else’s celebration to increase our enjoyment of Christmas. This is not a zero sum holiday. Neither do we need people of other or no faith to be coerced into a celebration that is not theirs. All of this just puts a scowl over Christmas joy (again, think the tempest in the Starbucks red-cup).
So is it a lost holiday? Shall we lift up a chorus of moans instead of tidings of joy? Hardly! But all this finger-pointed scolding is not the way to a better celebration. Isn’t the better way to maintain the glory of Christmas by celebrating it with full hearts and with such beauty that others would want to join in the celebration?
Author Madeline L’Engle gets it right in Walking on Water:
We draw people to Christ not by loudly discrediting what they believe, by telling them how wrong they are and how right we are, but by showing them a light that is so lovely that they want with all their hearts to know the source of it.
We need help to celebrate appropriately, and thankfully the church has an ancient resource that can focus followers of Jesus on the unimaginably good story of God entering time and space to redeem the world. That good resource is this peculiar season of Advent.
Advent is the four week season of preparation that precedes December 25 (it stated today). It’s a quiet, reflective and somber time, which certainly is out of sync with all the glittery, syrupy happenings on offer in the month of December.
And that’s part of its gift. Advent calls the bluff on all the shiny, merry sentiment around us. The “against-the-grain” way of Advent is to name all that’s wrong, to admit to the shadow over life. It’s the recognition that our need for help is far greater than we ever dared think. We need the anticipation of Advent to enjoy the wonder of Christmas. We need the “in-your-face” call to repentance before we can appreciate the good tidings of great joy that God has come near to us in all of our brokenness.
Somewhere in the bustle of wrapping paper, packed malls and the inevitable squabbling about “holiday trees” and “winter carols,” we’re missing out on the wonder of God’s generosity, entering our darkness in Jesus, including us in his good plan to make all things new.
The ancient practice of Advent has the stuff to get us in the right frame of heart for a proper Christmas celebration. It aligns us with God’s story of self-donation, allowing it become more than a footnote to the season but the rhythm of our lives. It readies us to want that light so lovely we find in Christ.
And if not, maybe we should celebrate Festivus instead and hold Christmas in August.
Advent begins the Christian calendar, which is the way Christians mark time. Advent starts the annual march through time by naming all that’s wrong in us and this world, connecting us to deep hopes and longings that remain unfulfilled.
Advent is a season for broken hearts. We take stock of our broken world, recognizing all that is bent, bruised, broken and unfulfilled. We wait and want for something bright to break all this shadow and decay. In stark contrast to the holly and jolly of the cultural calendar, the Christian year reminds us that a few toys or presents are crappy substitutes for the bigger ache in our lives.
As the season begins, I’d like to add The Decemberist’s A Beginning Song to your Advent playlist. No doubt Colin Meloy (lead singer and avowed atheist) didn’t it write it as such, but that’s the wonder of God’s common grace: we can find so many resonances and reflections of God in the work of non-Christians, all part of the bigger reality and story that God is working in this world. God has this lovely knack for employing all sorts of people to reflect his glory and get his work done.
But why use it for Advent? Give the song a listen (see video below) and let’s walk through some of the lyrics, listening for some of the cadences of Advent in the song.
But first, there’s the placement of the song on their album “What a terrible world, what a beautiful world” (a telling title in itself). A Beginning song is the last on this album. It comes right after12/17/12, which is a mix of melancholy and anticipation for a child about to be born in the midst of a chaotic world (the date of the title is days after the Sandy Hook elementary school shootings). The song captures the disturbing paradox of life and death, beauty and tragedy living side by side in this life: “Oh my God, what a world you have made here / what a terrible world, what a beautiful world / what a world you have made here.”
A Beginning Song comes as a response to the baffling incongruity of what sort of world we inhabit. Against the backdrop of anticipating a baby in a broken world, like the season of Advent, A Beginning Song gives us a way to enter and respond to this terrible, beautiful world.
“Let’s commence to coordinate our sights / get them square to rights.” – Advent is a beginning, the start of the Christian calendar, a time to reorient ourselves. As we remember the coming of Christ into our world, we realize so much is still so wrong. We’re left wanting for something more, waiting, hoping for Christ to come again. Advent is a season of longing and hoping for a world that works, a world set to rights, a teim to calibrate and coordinate our vision of the world with God’s vision for the renewal of all things in Christ.
“Condescend to calm this riot in your mind / find yourself in time, find yourself in time” – in the Incarnation, God comes to address the chaos of sin that runs riot throughout our world. In Jesus, God condescends to our place, finding himself in space and time, coming among us, to renew all things. In worship, as we remember and rehearse God’s story in Jesus, we get oriented within God’s accounting of time rather than our culture’s rendition.
“I am waiting, should I be waiting / I am wanting, should I be wanting / when all around me” – this chorus repeats throughout the song. Advent is a season of waiting. We celebrate the first coming of Christ but we’re left wondering: “should we still be waiting, wanting when all around me is like Sandy Hook, like Paris and Syria, a world of brokenness and terror?”
“Document the world inside your skin” – the foreground of Advent is the first coming of Christ, who moved into our neighborhood. The incarnation (literally “in flesh”) is God taking on skin and shin and limbs, entering into the frail and fragile world of human flesh. It is the mystery of God not just becoming like us but actually one of us, fully human.
“the light, bright light / and the light, bright light / bright light / bright light / is all around me.”
The song ends, answering that lingering question of the repeated refrain “I am waiting, should I be waiting / I am wanting, should I be wanting / I am hopeful, should I be hopeful / when all around me …” Is there something around me in this world the might call from me more than despair? At this point, there’s a hush that enters in, slowing down the pace of the song to allow for wonder, but then building up to it’s conclusion, singing out the beautiful Advent answer of hope – “when all around me … “the light, bright light / and the light, bright light / bright light / bright light / is all around me / it’s all around me / all around me.”
Advent, coming at the darkest time of the year, reminds that in a world of shadow and decay, there is light and hope – the bright light of the coming Savior, Jesus Christ. And the Decemberists give us a good song to begin it all.
I’m a follower of one who began his life as an asylum seeker. I’m a member of a family of faith whose history stretches back to Abraham, and is summarized in refugee terms: “my father was a wandering Aramean.” The God who has called me has this penchant of binding up his life with those who are on the margins, with the vulnerable and the weak. To take on the name of Christ, then, is to bind your life with the plight of those very same people.
So it is no surprise that Jesus calls people to a care and compassion for others, regardless of the differences and circumstances. Every person who takes on the name of Jesus isn’t afforded the option of turning away from outsiders. In fact, our very reputation and the name of Jesus is wrapped up in that sort of generous care. “Listen also to the immigrant who isn’t from your people Israel but who comes from a distant country because of your reputation … do everything that the immigrant asks.” (I Kings 8:41ff)
The plight of refugees has never been more stark, obvious and in your face. And, no doubt, the complexity of the situation is vexing: the instability of Eastern European and Middle-Eastern political climates, the risks and dangers of radicalized jihadists, the sheer scale of the need.
So what do we do? Listen to the refugee-Jesus, where we find the simplest, clearest of wisdom. “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew 7:12)
But that sounds too basic for this crisis, too simplistic for global geo-political problems, right?
I’m convinced that the Jewish carpenter is actually the wisest, smartest being to live, and so I’m persuaded that his deceptively simple words are actually the wisdom of the ages, something that is meant to play out in personal relationships and between global neighbors.
It’s often called the Golden Rule, and thought to be another version of something repeated within different religious streams. And while a semblance of it is seen in other religious contexts, what Jesus says is unique and transformative. We see forms of this Golden Rule in eastern Confucianism (Confucius urges, “do not do to others what you would not wish done to yourself.”); among Greek philosophers (the Stoic Epictetus said “What you avoid suffering for yourself, seek not to inflict on others.” and Socrates wrote “What stirs your anger when done to you by others, that do not do to others.”); and in rabbinic Judaism (Rabbi Hillel said “What is hateful to you, do not do to anyone else.”). These versions are both negative and passive. Avoiding or refraining from something I would not want done to me is a different standard of action than actively pursuing the thing I wish for myself for the sake of the other, which is the life Jesus invites into.
The brilliance of Jesus’ wisdom for how to respond pretty much to any situation is this: make it personal. The gold standard for moral action is to remove it from abstraction, from the pointed-finger deflection of “what others should do,” and from the resigned shrug of “it’s too complex so let’s leave it to the experts.” Instead, Jesus makes us the authority on how to respond to our friends, neighbours and global, geo-political issues: do to others what you would have them do to you.
Forget the professors, pundits and policy wonks; check your own heart.
For a moment, as best as you’re able, enter into the story of a refugee. If it was your home that was riddled with bullets and bomb fragments, your neighborhood a rubble, with neighbors and extended family killed; if you had no money because the local economy was devastated due to the instability; if your children went to bed hungry; and if you made the sane but crazy decision to get out of dodge and walk to wherever was safe, how would you want to be treated? If you were stuck for years in the purgatory of a refugee camp, watching your children sink into the despair of a hopeless future, facing some Escher-like bureaucratic government approval process, how would you want to be treated? If you lacked all access to a flourishing life, far from any semblance of home, dependent upon the goodwill of others, how would you want to be treated? Think of the hopes a refugee has for their lives, for their family. Imagine the fears that dominate their lives? Then think, “if I was in that person’s shoes, what would I want?” What would you hope for from foreign countries and governments when yours was corrupt or impotent to do anything to help you?
See what Jesus is doing? He taps into our own natural, God-given instinct to care for ourselves but then pulls the most liberating, redemptive move. He takes that inward-looking instinct but pivots us outward, redirecting all those good instincts for care and protection towards the other. Whatever we hoped and wanted others would do for us, he now commands us to go and do that for others.
And did you notice the first words: “in everything.” That’s pretty comprehensive scope. Don’t try to limit this wisdom for small-scale issues. “In everything.” This is not a kindergarten lesson in niceness. It is the wisdom of the ages, saving us from inward-focused fear and self-absorption, aligning ourselves with the grain of the universe, which is God’s self-giving love, his fondness for the least, the last and the lost.
A refugee is not a problem but God in disguise. They are a gift for anyone who carries the name of Jesus, helping us to know the meaning of that name and calling.